I have focused most of my writing in the past few days/week on sitting with a pad and pen instead of using my high tech writing utensil, the computer. I've been putting myself in the frame of my protagonist and playing with her thoughts & feelings to see if I can come up with an ending. While ideas have come to me about other parts of the book, the actual ending still eludes me, but it's waving at me from the periphery trying to make its way into my heart/mind and onto the paper. I AM ALMOST THERE!!!!

By the way, I love greeting cards. I have stores of them in my closet. I buy them and then put them in pretty storage boxes for future use. Sometimes, often in fact, I find cards I love so much that I don't want to give them away. Maybe this one is inspiring to me or that one has a magical water color on it or another one espouses the most wondrous phrase. The one I have currently to the left of my computer says:

"She learned to cup possibility in her hands."

That's what I'm doing with my writing. I'm learning to cup possibility in my hands. Too often we allow negative thoughts to run rampant through our gray matter without even realizing it, so it's helpful to have things to look at or little affirmations around that challenge these stalwart thought streams. I have these little round stickers too that I occasionally run across and bring out, sticking them everywhere I might see them. The stickers say:

"Something wonderful is about to happen."

They remind me to look at what might be upcoming as a delightful surprise, in the way that a child looks forward to opening a birthday present wrapped in colorful paper, rather than with trepidation.

So, my goal is to come up with the ending to my book by Sunday evening. I challenge you to work on , explore, play with your own writing, painting, music...or whatever your art consists of and move with it. XO

It's been a couple of tough weeks for me, so I haven't been on the blog, as you may have noticed :) I completely forgot I was even doing it for a while. But, I'm back. As far as writing, it's been a little sketchy. I never heard back from Reins magazine, so I think I'll try again and see what happens. I continue to read On Writing and Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul, which always inspire me.

There is a writing exercise my daughter Kayla and I like to do on occasion. We both use our iPods, putting them on shuffle and take turns bringing up a song. The challenge is to write for the duration of the song using some kind of info or inspiration from it as a theme. You have do your writing about a particular story, or in my case book, you are writing. These little pieces of writing are called drabbles. Kayla's writing had to do with a fan fiction story she is writing and my writing was about The Attic - big surprise. By the time the chosen (or I should say shuffled) song is over you are supposed to have finished your drabble. Well...that never happens, so we just continue to write after the song is over. We do this ten times and then we share what we've written. Sometimes it's fun & sometimes it's stressful for me. This time is was really stressful - not sure what was going on with me, but I stopped before the last song. The sharing part is lots of fun and we enjoyed reading our drabbles to each other. So...if you're a writer...give it a try. It actually has helped me to develop some of my characters or find some new quality or insight about them.

Also, one day, Kayla and I were looking through some poetry books and we took turns reading poems to each other that we thought were interesting or funny. That was fun and inspiring also.

Today, I'm actually writing my book, which I am excited about. I am so close to being done with this draft and to getting the actual ending completed. I was hoping to finish today, but I don't think it will happen.

Thought for the day:

"The fear of rejection is worse than rejection itself" (Nora Profit)

The above I know. But this issue is one that I continually face. Finishing my book, The Attic, is a given for me. It was a gift from Spirit and the vision or dream that came to me in the middle of the night with the title and idea for my book was so unexpected, so wondrous that there is no way I will not finish it, but sometimes I have trouble writing for a long period at a time or I become tired when I'm writing or I just can't seem to get to it as often as I'd like. My knowing is that this happens because of the "F" word, a much more powerful word than the one you're thinking (naughty :). The word is FEAR - in caps because it is so powerful and can be so debilitating. These thoughts of not being good enough, about being rejected, about the 'fact' that no one will want to read my book and by the way, who do I think I am?? All those thoughts are roiling beneath my radar making it difficult for me to believe in myself and my book. Also, because I am an avid reader and have been reading a lot of young adult fiction, which is what I am writing, it is easy to fall into the trap of comparing myself to other writers...argh! Don't do it!

Writers and artists of all types are plagued by these kinds of fears. The Fear keeps so many of us from doing what we love or if doesn't keep us from doing it, it probably keeps us from sharing it. You have a gift you can offer the world...one that will benefit others. You don't have to publish, but if you want to and you aren't doing so, then join hands with me and let's work on our stuff and move forward together. Share your creations with the planet -- we can use more beauty out here. XO

This weekend's writing escapades have been mostly around finding places to send short stories and/or poetry. I checked out the "2010 Writer's Market" online. The reviews about this year's edition seem to be less than stellar. So, I'm not sure whether to get the 2009 edition or try something completely different. In doing research I came up with a few possibilities, but nothing great as yet.

I did re-find my copy of Rein's Magazine. I originally found it at work and wondered if they accept short stories. I looked through the whole magazine, which is beautiful visually, but I'm still nto sure if they will allow me to submit fiction. It's a fairly new and local magazine, so I e-mailed the regional manager to see if he is interested and gave a sentence or two about a story that I have about horses. I was compelled to write this story many years ago when I was home from college and worked at a racetrack for most of one summer, until I realized that horses were being mistreated. Then I quit and wrote a fictionalized story about it. That's the story I entered in Redbook's young authors contest. If Reins is interested then I'll send it and see how it goes.

I looked on a couple of websites to find some places to submit my work, but nothing much came of my search as yet. I did find a website called Stickman Review where I found a story called "Winners" that I really liked. There was quite a bit of poetry as well.

I looked through my old copy of The Childrens Writer's & Illustrators Market and found some possible places to publish. I'll have to check out their website for updated info because the edition I have is from 2005. That's it for now. XO

It's Friday night and I haven't done any writing this week. I did come up with some new story ideas--not for The Attic but for other possible books or short stories. I'm still reading several books about the craft of writing and enjoying those immensely. Also, my daughter pretty much twisted my arm to get me to read Wicked, which I am now doing. What I would REALLY like to do is to be able to take her to see Wicked on stage...she would soooooo love that!! But, I don't have the bucks for that right now. She loves the music from the show and just finished reading the book. It's a thick one--something you can really sink your teeth into (perhaps literally if you're Elphaba).

Okay, I plan on writing more this weekend. I shall return. XO

Since I began the "artist's week" with my friend, Jasmine, I have become more interested, not only in writing my book, but in other forms of writing as well. And I am now fired up about writing poetry, short stories, etc. This is happening in a more fevered way right now because I have been reading stories from Chicken Soup for The Writer's Soul. Many of these stories are magical; some help you see that virtually all writers start in the basement, working up the ladder to the attic (no pun intended); some show the miraculous ways a writer finds her/his path or publishes that first story or book or makes the right connection at the right time. The stories can be funny, informative, poignant, surprising and always, always motivating to the writing warrior within. Each one, in it's own major or subtle way, has lifted me.

I have had this book, Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul, for a very long time and have picked at it, but mostly left it on the shelf and from what it looks like, soaked half of it in coffee (or something because, really, I don't drink coffee - never have). I am also reading another book on writing called Thunder & Lightening by Natalie Goldberg. The only thing is that she starts out saying how sad a writer's life is...that writer's aren't happy people. That was a bit of a downer. She didn't know how she could teach students about writing because of this. Then she showed, through an incident she experienced, that when she was depressed and couldn't get through it, how writing was the only thing that allowed her to dislodge herself from the muck and move forward.

Thinking about books on writing, I want to say that I was blessed to have my mother-in-law, at the time, send me three books on writing, all of which I loved and recommend highly to other writers. These are not ABC books on writing, but stories by writers about themselves and their writing and are fun and moving to read. The titles are as follows:

1. On Writing (A Memoir of the Craft) by Stephen King

2. Bird by Bird (Some Instructions on Writing and Life) by Anne Lamott

3. Writing Down the Bones (Freeing the Writer Within) by Natalie Goldberg

I highly suggest you read these if you haven't already. I have them in front of me and am going to re-read them. They are awesome!!

Okay, so my plan is to purchase a current Copy of The Writer's Market and the Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market and work on some short stories, poetry and perhaps articles for publication. So wish me luck.

One other resource that was recommended to me and my daughter by Laurie Halse Anderson, a wonderful author we had the chance to see in person, is The Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI). This is obviously a resource for those interested in writing and/or illustrating Children's books, including picture books, middle readers & young adult/teen books. I haven't used it much yet, but Anderson said that if your are writing for children then join SCBWI. She said this organization really helped her writing career. Their website is: http://www.scbwi.org/.

Okay, I'll be back. XO

My recent writing time has been spent creating the poem and the "piece" below concerning Haiti and the message it offers to all of us.


The Plight of Haiti, The Plight of the World


We are not privy to Spirit’s plan. (Spirit = God, Goddess, Creator, Allah, The Great Spirit, etc). We would so love to know that plan, but perhaps the danger is that if we were privy to it then somehow, in the knowing, the plan would be tainted. The knowing would change our decisions, our direction...the natural course of things. We have theories and ideas, but we really don’t know the plan because we weren’t meant to. Sometimes we have intuitions, moments of clarity...of knowing. When we listen to these jewels our lives play out smoothly; when we don’t, we stumble. This is as close as we normally get to knowing the plan.

So, why was Haiti, a nation already struggling, hit so hard? No one knows...see above. But, one thing I’ve learned in my life is that in disaster there lies a gift. Sometimes we see and understand that gift; other times we do not. On a much smaller level than what took place in Haiti, let’s say in this time of economic stress and strain, you lose your job...disaster! But then later because of this crisis you end up in a new job...one that is better, one that you love...one that you would not have taken the risk, on your own, to discover because you were too afraid to let go of the current job. Maybe you simply felt that nothing better could ever happen for you...that you were stuck. Thus, through this crisis, Spirit “forced” you to improve your life. No longer do you wake up every morning, a loathsome feeling in your belly knowing that you have to force yourself to get up, trudge to the car and face your day. That’s one example, there are many.

True, it is much more difficult to find a gift in what happened in Haiti. When a disaster of this magnitude takes place, we question our faith in Spirit. How could Spirit let this happen?? How can such a terrible thing happen to a country struggling and impoverished? It isn’t fair! We don’t know...we’ll never know. So, Instead of blaming Spirit, perhaps we just move forward, do what we can and somehow, find the gift in this horror. The whys don’t help change the situation. But, WE can.

Maybe Haiti has made a sacrifice to the world, to the universe. Not consciously, but, perhaps as part of the collective unconscious. You see, crisis seems to bring out the best in us as people. It reaches into our hearts and souls and allows us to achieve a level of compassion, camaraderie and unity far beyond that of our daily lives. It takes down the walls of isolation we have created in ourselves. It loosens our purse strings and lets the Scrooge in us fall away, allowing greed to take a hike and generosity to flourish.

Perhaps right now in this time we need to join hands...come together. We are offered so many chances to do this (9-11, Katrina), but when the crisis wanes, we pull back, re-isolate ourselves, become separate once more. Perhaps the only way for this world to truly flourish is to allow one of these disasters and it’s overwhelming message about the need for love, sharing and compassion to keep us together, to keep us caring, to keep us sharing our wealth and our kindness always...not for a few hours, a few days or a few months, but every day for the rest of our lives.

I think about what has happened to the Haitians & I unwittingly feel the pain, the sorrow, the fear. What if that happened to me? What if I was lying underneath the rubble, barely able to breathe, frightened that no one would come for me? Or, worse yet, what if it was my child under there--then what? What if the buildings in my city crumbled to the ground or I lost my family? What if I lived in poverty like the Haitians? What if...???

I struggle every day because my income isn’t enough to cover my expenses. I cry sometimes because of my health or my personal crises. But, I am living the luxurious life compared to so many around the globe. And it’s not that we should minimize our struggles, but perhaps see them with new eyes, a fresh perspective. Catastrophes of this proportion allow us to do this, to see things differently, to change, and to accept our circumstances, to open our hearts and reach out to others. And not only does it make others, such as the Haitians, feel better, safer, less fearful, more hopeful, but it makes us feel better too. People who volunteer live longer, happier lives.

Some of us go into denial when these major calamities occur, afraid to look, afraid our hearts will break, afraid we are powerless. Denial is a safe house, but a false one because the only thing that it brings is lack of awareness which means that when things fall apart around us we are utterly unprepared. So, perhaps it’s time to get our heads out of the sand and do what we can.

We truly need to understand that we are all connected. We hear this, we say this. Easy to say, not so easy to perceive, to integrate, to understand at a deep level. It is during disasters such as what happened in Haiti where this becomes palpable. When a crisis hits one of us, it affects us all. We all live on this planet. We share it. We constantly create borders around us to delineate our countries, our cities, our towns, our homes. This is mine...that is yours. But, we forget that we share the land, the air, our personal space. What one person does to the air in Los Angeles affects the air in San Diego – borders or no borders. If someone hurts or kills a loved one, it affects not just that person, but their family, friends and anyone who hears about it because it brings doubt to our sense of security, our well being. At some level, it affects us all. When we are negative or we gossip about others, it fills the space with unsavory energy and affects the person being gossiped about as well as others who are pulled into the web of negativity. We share whether we like it or not. I think it’s about time for us to like it. To like each other, to love each other, to consider each other and to help each other or we will perish.

One of our biggest survival needs is touch...yes, it is a survival need. There have been studies done on babies who are touched and those who are not that reveal the negative affects on the babies untouched. There is research about the need for touch in adults as well. It’s time for us to touch one another, not only with our hands, but with our hearts.

I could barely stomach the scenes or listen to the stories as I watched the “Hope for Haiti Now” telethon last night. I am very sensitive anyway, but watching that and seeing the reality of it hurt me inside, made me weep with grief, made me feel helpless. But, we are not helpless. I could not give much, but between my daughter and I we gave $20 – a small contribution, but that is all we can do for now and that is okay. What can you do? Give anything--$5 is enough. There is so much more than $5 that goes with the donation. There is an energy about the giving: an affirmative, nurturing, miraculous message of love that goes with it, that is just as powerful, more so, than the money you send. This energy changes people, situations...the air we breathe, the molecules and atoms in our bodies with its unseen, pervasive flow. Everything is energy. Each and every one of us shares the energy that is in us and around us. Yes, we are all connected...we are one and so this old and true wisdom will never rust: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

If you cannot give dollars (and even if you can), then give through prayer or meditation--do it alone or in groups. When people gather in groups for a singular purpose the energy created for that purpose is powerful and transformative. Visualize a healthy, restored, abundant Haiti. Envisioning also carries with it a potent energy for change.

Let us not dishonor the message that Haiti’s crisis is sending us. Take my hand and the hand of your neighbor and let us touch each other realizing that this one touch is felt by the whole world.


Haitian Child

A young child
struggles
under the rubble,
alone & lonely,
crying out for
help,
reaching up
toward the light
but harbored in
darkness,
broken bones,
broken heart,
breathing in the
chalky dust
of the crumbled
building
fallen above her,
around her,
thoughts lost
in the dull
throb of pain,
the odd
sense of
consciousness,
in and
out
here and
gone,
when cognizant,
praying for
discovery.
Mommy, is
that you?
But, no
a figment,
a voice within
a yearning,
a hope.
Then she
awakens.
someone is
pulling,
voices are real,
after hours
she is out,
squinting
against the
light
she is one of
the lucky ones,
carried to
a tent.
she waits...
and waits
thirsty,
hurting.
she hears
the buzz
around her,
stores of
water, food,
medications
are meager.
Now that she
is here
will there
be enough
for her?


Linda J. Wolf
1/23/10

Good Morning! My daughter has a book I bought for her called "Girlosophy - A Soul Survival Kit." She hasn't taken the time to look through it, but on occasion I have and it has wonderful bits of information for heart, soul & spirit. I said to myself as I flipped through the book "what do I need to know right now?" I stopped flipping when it felt right and here is what it said:

"Clean up your act. Edit your life. Keep what is useful, important, beautiful. Get rid of the rest."

Wow - that is a good one. We carry around so much waste, so to speak. Today I am keeping this bit of wisdom in front of me, so I can see it throughout the day and act on it. Maybe you can try this too. Consider it a challenge! :)

As far as writing, I created a poem and a "piece" concerning Haiti. I will share it later, after I am finished writing and editing it. Cya then. XO